


Dialogue

by ALiteraryLady



Series: The Dodds family dynamic (an exploration of family in the 21st century) [6]
Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Adorable Dogs, Budding relationships, Emotional complications, Gen, Winnie Dodds is a total mush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-23 16:11:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8333998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ALiteraryLady/pseuds/ALiteraryLady
Summary: In this next installment of the Dodds Family Fic series, we see Matt Dodds working through his own emotions. He learns that while not everything is perfect, surrendering to defeat is no longer an option for him. Also, more adorable Winnie Dodds





	

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading over this story, I appreciate it. Please feel free to also follow me on tumblr: ladyzootie. I appreciate any and all kudos you leave on this and on any of my other works.

Matt sat his last box of belongings on his bed and took a moment to breathe. Since nine that morning he’d been moving out of the rehab facility into a sober living complex. It was one of the more popular ones, but Sue had been able to get Matt the last spot for this session. He couldn’t recall the number of times he had thanked her but he knew he would have to do something spectacular to thank her for helping him move in. His hand went to his pocket and he rubbed his ninety day chip; feeling the heavy metal coin in his pocket was an anchor to him, his strength and determination helping him continue to be sober instead of permitting him to be bullish towards his family and friends.

    “Hey Matt, any other boxes?” Sue’s voice piped up from behind him.

    “Oh, no...this is the last one...and I again I just want to say-”

    Sue chuckled, “You thank me one more time and I’ll be able to fly to the moon and back on your appreciation...” he saw the bit of blush come to her cheeks

 

    _Okay Matt, she’s blushing, this is your chance to go for it-_

 

He cleared his throat, “Heh, yeah guess I’m a bit overkill with it...so...wanna grab a bite to eat—completely platonic?”

    “Is that the name of the restaurant?” Sue joked as he felt his face flush with color.

    “No I just meant—you know the whole no dating sober living thing—we could have friend pizza, or chips, or...other foods” he mustered to say as he rubbed his arm.

   

    _Okay so, you’ve lost your mojo ever since the lesbian couple in the park didn’t help...c’mon Matt focus, you’re a Dodds after all we’re natural-_

 

“Matt?...I’ll have a ‘platonic lunch’ with you, okay? You’re paying right?”

    His head nodded with a tenacity he’d usually save for the post meal erotic romp as his head processed her chuckles.

    “Yes! Totally! My treat—seriously!” his arms flailed about as he let out the nervous energy flowing through him until her hands held on to his, lowering his arms back down to his sides.

    “Matt...I didn’t help you move in just for the ‘thank yous’ and free lunch...I-”

    He felt her own nerves as his own as she let out a soothing, controlled sigh.

    “Matt, I want you to succeed because you really can, and if I can do anything to help out with that...” her eyes studied his as Matt felt his heart burst with desire. She was perfect to him and was so willing to understand him that he finally understood what unconditional love felt like.

    His hands fled her touch as he raked them though his hair, letting bits of his own hair stand up on end as Sue laughed, her own tension being released in the wavering chuckles. Her hands went up to his hair and smoothed down one of his locks as she kept her eyes on him.

    “Sorry, your hair was kinda--”

    “--Sue...where to for lunch?” he asked as his hands gently guided her out of his hair.

 

    _God I want to kiss you so much right now_

 

Her lips parted in a timid smile, “I know a really good burger joint, down the way a few blocks, game?”

    “Totally...” he held out his arm and Sue linked her with his as they left his place.

  


**

  


    Quin picked up her briefcase and checked her appearance one last time before heading back towards the door, but a whimper from Winnie stopped her in her tracks. He looked pitiful; not only because of the cone on his neck from being fixed a few days ago, but also his little brown eyes downturned as he seemed to frown at her. While they had rescued their beloved pup from a shelter awhile back, he was still learning to adjust to them working a fair amount of time. She also couldn’t ignore the manner in which the plastic cone around his neck amplified his emotions and expressions.

    “Winnie, love, it’s two hours and then Sonny will be here to let you out—I know--” she began to comfort him as he attempted to roll on to his back but the cone prevented him, causing him to flop on to his side. The sadness that resonated from him broke her heart.

    “Sweetie, please, you have Finny, Munn, and Lulu to keep you company. I let you out twice, you have your panda plushie and-” the crumpling sound effect of the cone shot down her reasoning. Quin knew that Winnie hated the cone but it kept him from chewing on the incision. Another groan came from her pup as Quin let out a sigh and walked over to him, putting her body at level with his.

    “Winnie...it’s two hours...you are going to be fine...you’re a Montgomery-Dodds, we can survive anything. I love you and don’t let Finny sleep in your cone again.” she assured him as she kissed his forehead and dusted his fur off of her suit as she stood up. Quin picked up her briefcase and waved at her brood as she exited the apartment. Locking the door behind her, she tried not to let her heart break.

 

    _I’m not going to do it, Quin—no, don’t—if you coddle him he’ll--_

 

Winnie’s cries broke down her last reservations as she opened the door and grabbed his day bag, leashed him and tucked him under her arm. His instant mood change made her feel less guilty as she looked at Munn who was giving her a disapproving glare.

    “Munn, he’s a puppy, he’s built differently...don’t judge!” she sassed as she locked the door behind her and whisked herself and Winnie to her office.

 

**

 

    Matt walked through the door as Sue held it open for him. The burger joint she had suggested was rather quiet yet Matt found himself happy with the more somber environment. It meant being able to hear her speak and created a sense of intimacy he wanted with her.

    “Thanks.” Matt got out as she walked over to the hostess and asked for a seat in the booth section.

 

    _She digs booths, nice_

 

Soon they were following the hostess who quickly seated them and he sat across from her. Even in simple jeans and a t-shirt she looked stunning to him. Strands of her blonde hair framed her face as Matt overheard her and the waiter talk about the specials. Matt would have kept his gaze on her all day but her hand resting on top of his jutted him out of his daydream.

    “And what did you want to drink, Matt?” she asked as he looked up at the surly looking waiter.

    “Oh, um...I’ll have a coke—I mean—a Coca Cola please.”

 

    _Any smoother and you’re gonna give a freakin porcupine a run for it’s money…_

 

He let out a breath as the waiter walked away to get their drinks as Sue let out a laugh.

    “Matt, just because I’m recovering doesn’t mean you have to change how you talk.”

    “I know, I know...I just,” he glanced down at his hands and then back up at her, “it’s been a long time since I’ve socialized with anyone of the opposite sex and-”

    Sue waved her hand, “-no need to be worried, in fact, I have something for you.” she assured him as her hand rummaged through her purse and she pulled out a red leather journal.

    “I knew it, you do have a hit list!” Matt joked as Sue playfully rolled her eyes as her slim fingers gripped the journal.

    “Ha, I wish, but I’m almost done with my group therapy and they’ll have me on the out patient system for a while, but..” her amber colored eyes locked onto him and Matt felt stunned in place.

    “...one of the most beneficial things they have you do in group and solo therapy is journaling and since you’ll be going into that part of your recovery I wanted to make sure you had the right kind of journal to use.” she handed the journal to him and his wrapped his hands around it. The leather was supple, smooth and the pages had a vintage fade on them.

    “Sue...” his heart was tender, her gift meant so much to him, “...I don’t know how to thank-” Matt began but was cut off by the waiter returning with their drinks.

    Sue clapped her hands with glee as he saw the giant milkshake she’d ordered sat down in front of her.

    “One virgin mudslide shake and one Coca Cola. So do you two know what you want to eat?”

    “Um, I do if you do?” Sue asked as Matt pushed the idea of having an actual drink out of his mind.

    “Yeah, let me get the jalapeno burger with fries and you?” he smiled at Sue.

    “Oh man, I’ll take one of those avocado bean sprout burgers with a side salad.”

    “Good choices.” the waiter stated as he snatched up the menus and Matt watched Sue smile, her eyes illuminated upon looking at the shake.

    “How are you going to finish that and half of the veggie farm you ordered?” he teased as she looked at him.

    “Never underestimate the eating potential of a young woman who hasn’t eaten anything all day-”

    “-why didn’t you mention you didn’t have breakfast, I would have gotten you something to eat sue.”

    She shook her head, “My recovery is my own work Matt, not yours.”

    A bolt of anxiety struck him, “-but we both know you’re struggling with eating well, I wouldn’t want you to-”

    She sighed, “Matt, it’s one morning, and we’ll be moving stuff around your apartment when we get back so I won’t be weighed down by this thing. I’m fine.” she held his hand, “I’m perfectly fine.”

    Matt studied her, “okay, I just don’t want to make you, you know...”

    “-Fall off the wagon? Matt, I’ve been working on my issues for more than a year, it isn’t a sprint, it’s a marathon.”

    “Yeah, you’re right...it just I don’t want you helping me to hurt you, the whole no dating while in the half way house, the whole epicness of working more on my recovery, it just makes me unsure if I can do all of this sometimes...and I could let my family down again and they’ll see me as a total failure.”

    Sue took a sip of her shake, “Matt, you have some seriously amazing support in your corner, c’mon your parents make it to every awards thing, especially your mom and your dad is really proud of you and you have one of the kindest people on your side-”   

    “You?” Matt flashed her a smile.

    Her face flushed, “Well, yeah if you want me to-”

    “-I do...I mean as a-”

    Sue laughed, “I know how you meant it Matt, but I was talking about your sister in law, Quin right?”

    “Oh yeah, but Mike and Quin aren’t engaged yet, but Quin?”

    Sue nodded, “Yes, I told you how she gave a speech about child victims of assault, she was so inspiring, she took every bit of hurt and pain, and channeled it into building herself back up, she’s like the ADA of Manhattan.”

    “I wouldn’t say that around her boss, Mike says he’s top peacock, but yeah, I’ve never really talked to her about it, her and Mike are so reserved so she’s hard to read.”

    His mind went back to a few weeks ago when Quin had burned her fingertips. She’d been just as surprised as he was with his own ability to help her, but while his had been because of doubt, hers had taken the form of being pleasantly surprised.

    “Oh, she was rather open and candid about what happened to her as a kid in England; the years her abuser kept her locked up, how she found a legal book to study how she could get emancipated from him...it was hard to hear but she get us, she gets addicts like...me”

    Matt took her hand, “and me...”

    The waiter brought over their food as Matt saw the massive mound of fries next to his burger as Sue skimmed over her salad.

    “Can I have a couple of fries? I think I went too far in the opposite direction.” She chuckled as Matt let go of her hand and gave her a handful of fries, sprinkling them over her salad.

    Sue let out a contented sigh, “Matt Dodds, you get me...”

    His heart was so close to rupturing from the sheer joy being with her gave him as he watched her eat.

    “You get me too Sue...I’m in love with you.”

    His statement, which was meant for him only was effortlessly delivered from his lips as Sue’s expression transformed into shock and awe.

    “Matt! You are?!” she gasped.

   

    _You said it outloud...c’mon Dodds!_

His lips trembled a bit as he struggled to speak but she stared at him.

    “Y...yeah...I...I am...Sue...I am.” he let the statement plot out of his mouth as Sue glared at him.

    “What’s making you hesitate now?” she glanced down at her watch, “I should go...um...I forgot to let my dogs out...”

    Matt reached for her hand but she pulled it back

    “Sue, I do mean it I do...I just-”

    The hint of hurt he sensed from her broke him.

    “Matt...me being so friendly with you, it’s going to hurt both of our recoveries...I’m” Sue grabbed her bag and left without another word as Matt looked up from her salad with the scattering of fries on it.

 

    _I love you Sue._

 

_**_

  


Quin rested her left arm on top of Winnie’s cone collar. She’d tried to get him to rest on her sofa but Winnie flat out refused that solution; his whimpers grew louder and louder as Quin tried to ignore them, but she’d finally caved in and his body was draped across her lap. With no cases to try today Winnie’s position wasn’t an issue but she knew that Mike wasn’t going to pleased with her babying their pup. Winnie shifted his body and sat up on her lap, his cone brushing against her face.

    “Good afternoon to you too, mister.” Quin greeted him as she dropped her pen and tucked away her notes into their file. Winnie’s bottom wiggled on her lap as he attempted to lick her face, the cone once more rubbing her cheek.

    “Love, that isn’t going to work, here, let me-” she put her face into the cone and Winnie gleefully licked it. After a good kiss from him, Quin pulled her head out and held him.

    “Your dad is going to be livid with me, and that’s the least of my worries. If Barba finds out you're in here, I’ll never hear the end of it-”

    Her sentence was cut short by the knock on her office door. Winnie lept down and ‘hid’ under her desk.

    “Yes?” Quin inquired as she tried to keep her tone even as her hands dusted off her lap.

    “Hey, huh, it’s me, Matt.”

    A smile came to her face, “C’mon in Matt.” she said as she watched him walk in and saw the expression on his face.

 

    _Something is off with you._

 

“Hey, sorry if I’m-” Matt’s eyes peeked down at her desk and then darted back up at her as he grinned, “-you brought Winnie to work?”

    Quin blushed, “I know, I know, I’m supposed to be better than that but-”

    Matt crouched down and softly clapped his hands. Winnie’s cone crinkled against the underside of her desk as her pup squirmed out from beneath it and bolted over to Matt.

    “Hey buddy! It’s so good to see you too! Oh get over here!” Matt cheered as Quin watched Winnie soak up the attention.

    “What’s with the cone of solitude?” Matt jovially asked.

    “He got fixed a few days back, he was finally old enough and while Mike and I adore him we don’t want to worry about any other Winston Dodds popping up in our neighborhood.”

    “Understandable, the world would stop working if it knew this little guy was out there cloning himself.” Matt added as he picked up Winnie. A small red fell out of his pocket.

    “Crap!”

    “What’s that?”

    Quin saw how Matt struggled to hold on to Winnie and bend down to pick up the journal.

    “It’s nothing, I promise, hey-” Matt stammered as Quin got up and walked over to him, then bent down and picked up the book herself.

    “This is really nice Matt, oh, a Heeli journal? These are expensive...Mike got me one while I was in recovery after—anyways, they’re really nice and hold up very well.”

    Matt’s face flushed, “Good to know, Sue got it for me, to journal in.”

 

    _Bingo!_

 

“That’s very kind of her to do, you’re all moved into your new place now?” Quin inquired as she gently took Winnie out of Matt’s hold and sat him on the ground next to his panda plushie.

    “Oh yeah, just got moved in this morning.”

    “How do you like it so far? Sharon told me it was a really nice place, one of the best places for your phase of recovery.”

    Matt nodded his eyes looked at Winnie who was resting against his plushie.

    “It is, Sue also got me in there, then I went and screwed it up...”

 

    _You relapsed?!_

 

“Screwed it up?” Quin innocently posed as Matt started to pace back and forth in a line before her.

    “You wouldn’t get-” Matt paused as they looked at each other.

    “-try me. Contrary to popular belief that I have zero social skills, something happened with Sue today?”

    His brown irises flexed with understanding as Quin continued to analyze him.

    “Yeah, and I’m such an idiot!” Matt affirmed as he plopped down on her couch and tugged at his hair.

    “What makes you say that? She did give you a journal for therapy, that has to speak to her finding you to be a good person.”

    He let out a groan, “She did, but have you ever thought a thought then instead of thinking it you say it?” his eyes locked with hers as Quin saw them water.

    “Matt...it’s fairly obvious that you’re attracted to Sue, Mike and I both picked up on the vibes at your first chip ceremony. Did you reveal this attraction to her?”

    Again his head nodded and he covered his face with his hands.

    “I did and she didn’t know how to take it and I choked and she got mad that I wasn’t confident with liking her...damnit I’m such a moron!”

    Quin sat down next to him and rubbed his shoulder to comfort him.

    “Matt did you possibly take into consideration that she’s interested in your and she doesn’t know how to receive genuine affection from someone?”

    His hands slid off his face as Quin saw him turn towards her.

    “She’s dated before Quin, it isn’t like she’s a virgin or anything-”

    Quin smiled, “True, Sue isn’t but if I recall her story from when I met her after my presentation, she was working as a pro-”

    “Yeah, I know, okay, I’m in love with a former hooker, feel free to laugh-!”

    “-I’m not here to judge who you fall in love with Matt, my point is this, with sex work, especially when you have other mental and physical dependencies you don’t find value with being you, you don’t know how people could love the real you since you’ve been told the real you is disgusting...” she paused as Matt fidgeted with the red journal in his hands.

    “...she doesn’t even see how perfect she is? How?” his sorrow weighed down on her as she knew it was time for Matt to know what she’d been through as a child.

 

    _It’s time. I trust him._

 

Quin let a breath exit her mouth, “Matt, what I’m about to tell you cannot leave this room, I’m choosing to trust you with a large secret, okay?”

    A simple bob of his head signed his agreement as Quin felt her heart beat a bit faster.

    “I’m going to guess that Sue told you about how she knows me, so...about three years ago I chose to process my abduction by speaking about the experience, and about what happened to me as a kid.” Her palms felt sticky as she brushed off Winnie’s fur from her slacks, but Matt held on to her hand and squeezed it.

    “She said you’d been abused as a kid...”

    Quin glanced down at her hand, “Yes, I lived with my abuser for years, he was the headmaster of the orphanage I lived at, he made me...”

    Her body went back to those moments where Arthur Cutlass reduced her to nothing; she felt his hands slide over her body, heard his laughter trickle into her ears and physically recoiled at the smell of his body odor as he forced himself on top of her and inside of her. The moment passed at Matt called out her name. She brushed aside the sensations and looked at him.

    “I didn’t know, I mean...” Matt’s attempt to pull her out of her sensory distortion was all too familiar to her; he’d never been put into that sort of situation, he didn’t have the tools to help her and there never should have been a need for him to have them.

    “No, and for the longest time I didn’t want anyone to know. Telling Mike was hard enough, and he’s been there for me through everything, but Matt?”

    “Yeah, so what you’re saying is that you get how Sue feels since you’ve felt those feelings yourself?”

    “I do...I mean I don’t have her physical dependencies, but I know how hard it is to believe that anyone could ever love you and I think she reacted out of fear. I think you should tell her how you feel again, but be honest. I know when Mike told me I couldn’t believe it; I mean, someone like Mike wanting to be with someone like me-”

    Matt let go of her hand, “-someone awesome? Because that’s how I see you, how she sees you, that’s how Mike sees you! I’ve gotta go and tell her but we aren’t allowed to even date during recovery. I mean, what if she doesn’t even think I’m being sincere?!” his anxiety riddled face as Quin saw him turn away from her.

    “Matt, she gave you that journal right?”

    “Yeah...”

    “She helped you move in? Got you a place at the best facility?”

    “Yeah...”

    “She’s thinking long term, so show her long term from you. Use the journal, write to her in it, but a small chat in a day or so just to explain yourself wouldn’t be bad either, but just right now, work through your thoughts and write to her, Matt.”

    His hands opened the journal and he felt his body with his right hand for a pen.

    “Shoot-”

    Quin got up and walked over to her desk and grabbed one of her favorite pens.

    “Here,” she handed him the pen, “use this and get those thoughts out.”

    Matt’s trembling hand grasped the pen and rested it in the middle of the journal. Quin was about to head back to her desk when he held on to her hand.   

    “Matt...”

    “Quin, could I like stay here some days and you know...work on this? it’s kinda loud in the housing and your office is nice...”

    Quin patted his hand with hers, “Yes, but only if I don’t have a huge case to work on, and Winnie isn’t always going to be here, so it’s going to be a bit more boring.”

    He smiled, “Totally and...hey...”

    “Yes?”

    His smile grew, “I’m stoked that Mike told you how he felt and that you let him get to know the real you. You’re a cool eventual sister in law, okay?”

    Her face was red from blushing.

    “Thanks.”

    Her focus went back to her work as Matt sat on her couch and gently cracked open the journal. She saw the way his brow knitted together as he was trying to pluck a thought out of the air around him.

 

    _You can do it Matt._

  
  


Sue,

 

    Hey, Um...sorry about earlier today, I just-ugh how do novelists do this?--Look, you’re amazing, all of you and I don’t have the means to really tell you without wanting to kiss you, okay, so there. I don’t know how to get it across with words, but I’m gonna try, so here I go--

 

    Sue Langston, I don’t know how to speak when you look at me, when you believe in me, when you tell me that I’m going to make it. So how you can’t believe you’re good enough to be loved, I don’t know what you see in me, but why not, explore that together, okay? I mean we both want the same thing, so why not find it with each other? It’s gonna be a work in progress, but works take time like recovery, so let’s take the time we need, okay?

 

    One of these days I’m going to be able to tell you this with total confidence to your face and it’s going to either be awesome or the worst thing ever. I’m really hoping it's the first and not the second part of that sentence. I want to know all about you, and I’ll tell you all about me and maybe we’ll be at the point where I can take you out on a proper date and maybe decide we want to continue learning about each other. A really stunning, intelligent woman told me that recovery is a marathon and not a sprint, just like being with someone, and I can build up the endurance to run miles for you Sue, so please consider it. Okay?

 

        -Matt Dodds

 

  1. I told Winnie about how awesome you are and he’s excited to meet you.




End file.
